Don't take your penny for granted.

Hello nifty U.S. Penny.

There once was a copper penny made mostly of zinc who cost 1.79 other pennies to make and distribute.  "Useless!" they say.

The penny is the ugly nieghbor down the street in a melting pot of nickels, quarters, dimes, and sacagawea dollars.  He proudly wears the image of Abraham Lincoln (a notable US president) but only to make him feel good about himself.  He's still worthless... or is he?

In 1980, the inflation rate of the Zimbabwe dollar was a high 7%. By 2008, the inflation rate was  231,150,888.87%.  hmm..

The Zimbabwe dollar during this time took on three redenominations.  So the Z$ in 1980 was worth 10^25 in 2008.  (FYI - Zimbabwe now accepts almost all foreign currencies while they "wait" for their production outputs to increase. Good plan guys). 






What does this mean?  Well, if you had one penny in Zimbabwe and you wanted to buy some 1980 Z$'s, you'd have 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00Z$'s. 

One penny just purchased you a bunch of even more useless money.  Congratulations. 
"Well what else can I buy with my penny"?   How about this:  in some countries you can buy some fruit, a nifty hair clip, or some pencils. 

Don't get sentimental yet!  You don't live in Zimbabwe, you live in America. 
Sure, you can donate your penny to some other country and make yourself feel good, but it's going to cost you $1.50 to ship it airmail.  You're sunk.

Vending machines don't accept you, rappers don't use you in their music videos, your color is so 1980's and way out of fashion, we know you're made of cheap zinc, and you make my fingers smell funny after I hold you! 

Keeping the down-trodden penny alive and well in our system just doesn't (here comes the  pun) make cents. 

And now I'll leave you with an impressive video of one of our more recent iconic American legends, Soulja Boy. Be impressed, very impressed (R rated FYI). 





Epic Adventures of Factual Characters

Meet Diet Coke.  He's the cool kid on campus these days.  Everyone seems to love him.  Male or female, married or single, rich or democrat.  He's just such a trendy guy lately.  I mean really, who hasn't put their lips on him?  He's just that great!

 

What many of you may not know, is where is Diet Coke comes from.  Much like the American Kennedy, Walton, or Buffet families; the Coke lineage has many notable figures who, in my opnion, deserve more recognition.  Many from the Coke family tree, spent time with famous celebrities, infamous dictators, presidents, kings, and Whoopi Goldberg. 

As far back as I've been able to trace,   in 1886, Coca-Cola became the FIRST from the Coke line to gain public attention. 

For some, Coca-Cola pushed the proverbial envelope to new limits.  For one, he was the FIRST person to hyphenate his name.  (Liberal feminists still do this today).  Coca-Cola was also the FIRST not to wear pants.  Notice his "barely there" covering. 

No one really knows what ever happened to Coca-Cola.  There are many theories. Some say he was kidnapped for ransom by Colombian drug lords. 

Others believe his remains were melted down and used to make Benjamin Franklin's popular spectacles. (This explanation has been debunked because B.Franklin was born in 1706, 100 years before Coca-Cola was a twinkle in a capitalist's eye)

  In fact, did you know that the song "Message in a Bottle" written by The Police was actually a dedicatory hymnal to the late Coca-Cola?

For most of the 20th century, the Coke family never made many great strides.  That is until 1980 when a movie director named Jamie Uys hired perhaps one of the sexiest of the Coke family and starred her in a role in the smash hit The Gods Must be Crazy. 

Let's enjoy a popular clip from this movie:

This was the actress's only movie role due to the fact that at the end of the movie, she was thrown off the edge of a cliff.  Obviously a lot has changed since 1980.  We can't just kill our Hollywood stars anymore.  Pfft... stupid political correctness.  

In the 1990's another famous coke came onto the scene.  Tyra Coke!

She had her own TV show for a while, but it sucked.  Who cares where she is nowadays?

In closing, let's all pay homage to our current love affair with Diet Coke.  He just celebrated his 31st birthday this year, but his popularity seems to grow and grow.  Especially with the exponential outbreak of obesity in America.  Diet Coke makes the fattest amongst feel that much skinnier. 

Have a lovely day y'all.

I like diet coke. And i'm a man. (I also like day spas...)

I know it's September, but i want to jump back before Christmas of 2010. Remodeling a room and making it look good takes skill and a lot of time.  But the Simpsons come on at 10:30 so I settled for a C-grade remodel.   Around his time i got to watch my brother install some hardwood floors in my new room.  Thanks sir.  Sorry, I ate the burger i bought for you while you were working, but you're my brother, and doing projects for me is compulsory.  Besides, "he's had a hard time lately". 

Ok, 9 months later.  That room just flooded thanks to all the Republicans and the water ruined my flooring.  So totally epic. 

On another note, did any of you see that airplane crash in Reno, NV?   That was weird.  The actual video is not suitable for those under the age of 1. So i created a pretty realistic dramatization.